


Fireworks

by SelanPike



Series: Moebean Saga [2]
Category: Super Mario Bros.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 13:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1349470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelanPike/pseuds/SelanPike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bowser sends Kamek out to search for fireworks. He runs into a familiar face.</p>
<p>(Originally posted on FF.N in 2006.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fireworks

The room was terribly dark and long, black shadows draped the walls, forming shapes that flickered and fluttered as the one dim light source in the room wavered.

One lone figure was hunched over this light. Its source was a small crystal ball, and the figure's hands moved along its surface, trying to coax an image out of the thing. He muttered chants and incantations, said various magical and occult words, and then promptly leaned back in his chair and groaned, glaring at the mystical sphere.

One of Kamek's duties as Bowser's head advisor was to peer into the future and prophesize any and all events that would at some point affect the Koopa Kingdom. Of course, clairvoyance was serious business and wasn't something easily done. Sometimes he would predict something particularly interesting, but most of the time… well…

Kamek sighed, and muttered in a voice mimicking Bowser's, "'Hey, Kamek'."

Bowser's gruff voice echoed through the hall outside. "Hey, Kamek!"

Kamek continued to peer into the ball. "'Where're you hiding at'."

Bowser called out. "Where're you hiding at!"

Kamek put a hand to his forehead, predicting that he would have a headache very soon. "'Oh, there you are'."

The door to Kamek's study swung open and the Koopa King stood in the doorway. "Oh, there you are!"

Kamek leaned forward a bit, and continued to mumble. "'Man, why do you keep it so dark in here'."

Bowser, not hearing Kamek's quiet mutterings, looked around. "Man, why do you keep it so dark in here!" Bowser felt around the wall for a light switch and, upon finding it, illuminated the room.

The light in the crystal ball faded away, as though the forces that it channeled were afraid of the light. Kamek blinked in the sudden brightness, and finally looked away from the ball that was no longer giving him any information at all.

"What can I do for you, your highness?"

Bowser walked further into the room, looking around absentmindedly at the various magical doo-dads piled up around the room. "Listen, the Koopalings all just decided that they wanted to have a fireworks display, see, and they won't shut up about it until I do somethin'."

"Yes?" Kamek shrugged. "I don't suppose sending them to their rooms is going to cut it, is it?"

"No, it's not," Bowser said. Kamek wondered if that were true, or if Bowser simply didn't feel like putting his foot down on the matter. He had a tendency to spoil those kids. "Anyway, you've got all this magical hooplah lying around, so how's about you cook up some magical fireworks, eh?"

Kamek shook his head. "I can hypnotize anyone, I can shoot magic blasts at people, I can tell the future… but fireworks aren't really my thing, your demandingness."

"What! Why not?" Bowser roared.

Kamek leaned his arm on his table. "My magic is very practical. I do  _useful_ things. I never really saw the use in learning firework spells. I mean, with all due respect your lordship, can you really imagine me in battle reciting a complex incantation… only to dazzle my enemies with pretty sparklies?"

"Well, it'd make you a little more versatile," Bowser said.

Kamek sighed. "Perhaps you would be best off asking Kammy? She seems to specialize in completely useless, show-offy spells like that."

"I would, but I haven't seen her around lately," Bowser said, shrugging his massive shoulders.

"Really?" Kamek said, not believing his ears. Kammy,  _not_  badgering Bowser? Ever since Kamek had saved Bowser from the mind-controlling influence of the mad bean scientist Fawful, Kammy had been jealous of all of the attention and glory Kamek had received. So in recent weeks she had been badgering Bowser, trying to impress him and try to get more respect than Kamek again. "That seems rather… suspicious."

"Pfft, whatever," Bowser said, grinning slightly, "All I care about is that I don't have that old hag nagging me. But anyway! If you can't do any magic fireworks, then you'd better go out and buy some normal ones!"

Kamek wanted to argue and tell Bowser to just send one of his other underlings to do it, but he knew talking back to the King of the Koopas wasn't the best idea. So, grudgingly, he nodded and stood up. "Of course, your unreasonableness. I'm assuming you expect me to do this by tonight?"

"Of course," Bowser nodded. "Now get to it!"

Bowser turned and started to leave.

"Turn the light out as you leave," Kamek requested.

Bowser shrugged and complied, switching off the lights as he left and closing the door behind him.

Kamek looked to the crystal ball, which had regained its spooky glow thanks to the darkness of the windowless room. He glared at it disdainfully.

"I don't suppose you could show me where to get fireworks?"

The light in the ball shifted.

"Of course," Kamek grumbled, getting out of his seat. "It's never any place close by, now is it?"

He got up and left the room, grabbing his broom as he went.

He arrived at Moleville a while later. It was late afternoon, so he figured he had better hurry up before the sun started to get too low in the sky.

Of course, while he knew that there were fireworks in Moleville, he wasn't sure  _where_  in Moleville they were. He figured, though, that the general store would probably be his best bet.

A little bell rang as he opened the door and walked into the store, looking at the shelves as he walked along. He saw mushrooms, and syrups, sodas… no fireworks anywhere.

He turned to go into the next aisle, and as he did he saw a quick flash of red dodging behind the shelf. Kamek cocked an eyebrow, and went back to the aisle he had just come from. There he saw a short green bean in a red cloak.

"You!" Kamek cried.

"Make yourself quiet!" Fawful hissed, "Can you not have the seeing that I am trying to be hiding?"

"I've already caught you," Kamek said flatly, "So you're not doing a good job of it."

"Do not have idiocy," Fawful snapped, "Why would I have the hiding from the pathetic thing who is you?"

Kamek was a little miffed at that, but chose to hide it. "Well then, what  _are_  you hiding from?"

"The obnoxious one," Fawful glanced around nervously. "The female Magikoopa who has the following of me and the trying of catching me. I am having no troubles to have the dispatching of her, but I have frustration with having to be fighting her off many times in each day!"

"Female Magikoopa?" Kamek blinked.

"Yes," Said Fawful, "The ugly one who has much age."

Kamek opened his mouth to speak, but the little bell on the door rang. Fawful, looking behind Kamek, squeaked and ducked behind a shelf.

Kamek turned around to see none other than Kammy Koopa walking into the store.

She noticed him immediately, and frowned as she shuffled up to him.

"Kamek," she said, her voice dripping disdain.

"Kammy," he replied in a similar tone.

"I assume Bowser's finally kicked you out?" she said.

"You wish," Kamek said, rocking on his heels confidently. "I'm actually running an errand for his lordship. May I ask why you've been shirking your duties?"

"I haven't been shirking anything," Kammy said, crossing her arms. "For your information, I've been trying to apprehend Fawful."

"Oh? Is that so?" he said, amused.

"Yes. After all, he is a huge threat to the Koopa Clan," she grinned, "And once I turn him in to Lord Bowser, I'll be much more respected than  _you_."

Kamek glanced behind Kammy, and noticed Fawful peeking out from behind a shelf. He was making a shushing gesture. Kamek smirked.

"Oh really. You  _really_  think that  _you_  could catch Fawful?" he said to her.

"Of course," said she. "And when I do, Lord Bowser will forget all about  _you_."

Kamek chuckled. "I'm sure. Now, tell me again— _where_  were you when the kingdom was in trouble?"

She frowned. "Away," she said simply.

"Yes, of course," he tried not to laugh at her outright. "Away, right. Now, what brings you  _here_ , of all places?"

"I saw Fawful lurking about here just yesterday."

Kamek saw Fawful hide himself behind the shelf again. "And what makes you think he'd still be here?"

"Where else would he be?"

"Anywhere. He's a clever one, that bean. He wouldn't be stupid enough to stay in one place for long. You should know that."

Kammy huffed. "And how do you know that? He might have his secret headquarters around here."

"Secret headquarters? Hah! Come  _on_. He's one little kid with no followers and very little possessions. Why would he bother with a headquarters when that would just make it easier for him to be found?"

Kammy seemed to consider this. "Perhaps…," she paused, "Excuse me."

She turned and left. As soon as the door was shut, Fawful came out of his hiding place.

"For your knowing," Fawful said annoyedly, "I  _am_  in the possession of a headquarters, and I am  _not_  a kid."

Kamek shrugged. "Whatever. I don't suppose you know where they sell the fireworks around here?"

"Fireworks? Those would be…," the bean blinked. "I am having an idea of brilliance!"

Fawful rushed over to the door. He opened it and looked around to make sure the coast was clear, and he ran outside. Kamek frowned, suspicious, and ran off after him.

"Hey!" Kamek called to him, "Where're you going!"

"I already was saying that I have an idea!" Fawful called back, "Were you not listening?"

Fawful stopped in front of a house, and Kamek caught up. "By the waying, why were you not having the ratting out of me?"

Kamek shrugged. "I hate that woman. I'm sure not going to let her catch you before  _I_  do."

Fawful nodded. "Ah."

Fawful opened the door. There were a few little mole children inside, as well as their father. The children all looked up at Fawful and rushed over.

"It's Gera!" Yelled one child, "Gera's back!"

"Yaaaay!" said the other.

"You're rather popular, aren't you," Kamek said to Fawful, deadpan.

"It would be seeming so," Fawful replied before looking up at the one adult mole in the house. "Hello! I am in need of some fireworks!"

"Great!" said the mole, "That'll be 500 coins!"

Fawful looked at Kamek. "Welling? You were needing these, yes?"

Kamek, a little confused, reached into his pockets and pulled out a chunk of gold coins. He gave it to the mole and was given a box full of various rockets and firecrackers.

"Good!" said Fawful, "Now have the following of me!"

The two of them went back outside, and Fawful stopped in the middle of a clearing and looked up. He scanned the skies and grinned. "There is she!" he snatched a mortar from Kamek's box and set it up on the ground.

Kamek looked up to see Kammy Koopa on her broom, flying away. Kamek realized what Fawful was up to.

"She's moving pretty fast," Kamek said, "There's no way you'll manage to hit her from here."

"So you are thinking," Fawful looked up, "She is moving at forty miles to an hour, and the rocket will have flying at a slight curve, and the wind is moving…," he held up a finger to test the wind, "that way. So…," he adjusted the mortar's angle. "Have the lighting of it!"

Kamek scratched his head, and used his wand to light the rocket. The fuse burned off quickly, and the rocket shot off into the sky. It whistled as it went up and exploded in the sky, knocking Kammy off of her broom.

The two of them laughed hysterically as they watched her fall out of the air like a rock, crash-landing right into Booster Tower.

"That," Fawful said through his chuckles, "Is the thing which is called  _physics_. An ignorant magician such as you would know little about it, but it is making it very easy for such feats."

"Heh. It really is too bad you had to ruin your job with us," Kamek said amusedly.

"Me?" Fawful glared daggers at the Magikoopa, "It was  _you!_  And your stupid fink-rat of a king!"

"Ah, details, details," said Kamek as he tied the box of fireworks to his broom.

Fawful frowned, a thought just occurring to him. "Oh, and I had the running into the so-called 'shadow thief' who is Popple. You would not have  _believing_  of the interesting things he had the saying when I had the pointing a blaster at his stupid head!"

"Is that so?" Kamek said, knowing what Fawful was going to say next.

"Yes," Fawful lost his composure and started screaming, "You horrible fink-rat of treachery! You had the paying of Popple to rob me! I will have the killing of you!"

Kamek laughed and jumped onto his broom. He shot off as quickly as he could, while Fawful chased after him on the ground and yelled his incoherent little Engrish curses at him. Kamek grinned when he saw Fawful slow down and eventually stop, trying to catch his breath.

"See you around!" Kamek called out, laughing.

"I will make you be wishing you were never born!" Fawful screamed back.

Kamek continued to laugh as he flew back to Bowser's castle, having gotten what he came for.

He arrived back at Bowser's castle as the sun was setting. He brought the box of fireworks to Bowser's chambers, finding all of the Koopalings in there, all badgering Bowser.

"I've got explosives!" Kamek proclaimed as he entered the room.

The Koopalings cheered and mobbed him. They ripped the box from his hands and dashed outside, chattering about shooting fireworks into the guard tower.

"Ugh,  _finally_!" Bowser groaned once his children were gone. "What took you so long?"

"Nothing," Kamek said. "Is there anything else you need, your highness?"

"Yeah," Bowser rubbed his forehead. "Get me some aspirin, will ya'?"

"Of course, my lord," Kamek bowed, and left the room. As he walked down the hall to find the aspirin, he noticed Kammy walking down the hall looking disheveled and rather miffed. "Did you manage to find him?" he said to her.

She grimaced at him. "I noticed that the Koopalings have fireworks."

"Indeed."

"I don't suppose you would happen to know about any fireworks going off over Moleville?" she asked, stomping up the hall toward him.

"Hm? No, of course not," Kamek said.

She glared at him. "I loathe you."

He started to walk off. "The feeling is reciprocated!"

She huffed, and stormed off to her room.


End file.
